Year 2011 - I Lost A Pebble, But Found A Treasure!!

This is a common phenomenon in the lives of all the bloggers (well, most of them) that they treat this last week of the calender year as a time where they reflect on the year that went by. I am no different. Its just that I want to look back to analyze where I was then (2010 last week) and where I am now. Writing this post is already making me aware that there is going to be zero readership for this one. But I have to write this. I owe this to myself.

Writing in points is better... (disagree? Jump off a bridge!!)

In the year 2011:

I WAS BROKEN BUT WAS NOT READY TO GIVE UP!!

1. I never gave up: I didnt give up, when I could have, that too, very easily. I had come home in December 2010. And it is never a good thing for an Indian Family when the "married daughter" comes back to their parent's home ever, for good. Yes...It happened. I did come back and I wouldnt want to get into the "Hows and Whys" of it. When relationships end, no matter how big or small, it is always painful. It was for me too. In my case it ensured that I am hospitalized (for the first time ever in my life). I was broken mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, internally and externally. But then could I just hide myself in the confinements of four walls.. No! I couldnt have! I had to move on, no matter how difficult, no matter how impossible. I did. I got back to my previous job. People were kind. No questions were asked. They were kind and they understood.

THE SMILE WAS RETURNING, SLOWLY!!

2. From "Counselor" to "Academic Counselor": Someone at my workplace knew that I am not happy with what I am doing. It was limited. It was just front desk sales - "Convincing people to Think CAT - Think TIME". I was unhappy. I quit. (Even though I left, few people will always be remebered and cherished "Balaji Partibhan, Nivethitha, Vidhya, Girijia Ma'am, Jagan Subburam, Mark North) Just like that. I needed more. Then I came to know of this new opportunity where an infrastructure company is foraying into education sector and an "Academic Counselor" (the title spelled "dignity/pride/respect) is required. It excited me. It felt as if this job and I were just looking for each other. I got through the interview and we just hit it off from there. Laying foundation of a school with young angels (LKG - VIIIth) std., an Architecture College (Ah! The Excitement, The Pressure, The Deadlines, The Sweet Sense of Success), A Music School (My love for Rock/Fusion/Indian Classical was reborn). I met some of the most amazing people in my life at this stage. Priya (My Current Boss: I have and I am learning so much for her. I bug her with my questions both personal and professional and she is always there with an answer. So much encouragement and motivation, I have got from you, Priya, Thank You), Mr. Ganesh Ram (My Super Boss: Woah! The enthusiasm, The energy and The positive attitude. I respect him!!) I made some great friends, Mukesh, Pushpa, Shwetha, Viswa, Raghav, Sujeen, Pramod, Jatan, Shyam Rao, Johanson, VijayGanesh, Jean Herve, John Gomez, Radha, Pon Prabha, Leo, Gaurav, Lunic....the list is endless (These names are in the order of which I came to know them, please dont take it otherwise. :)

LIFE IS A GAME AND "TRUTH & HONESTY" IS THE ONLY RULE!!

3. The Legal Legalities: Ok, this is something I dont want to talk much about. Chennai High Court (to file a divorce), Chennai Office of the Commissioner of Police (to file an FIR), Chapra Court (for a hearing on restitution of conjugal rights)... Pain! Confidence! "I dont care"! "I am not scared"! "Bring it on"! "I am not going to be suffering in silence"! "You asked for it, you will get it"! ----- Are some of the thoughts which made me stronger and capable of fighting for my rights with each passing day.

MY TRUE SELF!!

4. "Ullaas": No one has any clue, how much it means to me, the Cultural Committee of my Organization "Ullaas". I have been voted the Secretary, which makes it even more special. I met some of the most amazing people who have a clear understanding of the concept "Fun at Work". When I was slowly fighting the battles of my life, "Ullaas" brought my confidence back. The "Real Me" was suddenly standing in front of me, looking into my eyes. I told myself "I am back, Girl!" Hell Yeah!!

THE PAGE 3 MOMENT!!

5. Page 3: The picture says it all. Nonetheless, it was special!

Tweet! Tweet! - I CAN "TWEET-IFY" A "LOT"!!

6. Twitter Twee-Pals: 2011 saw the birth of @SunSandRain. (Though I still prefer to blog as the "The Pink Orchid";) ; Varun K Mehta, Faizal, Gurnaam Singh Sodhi, Sai_Ki_Bitiya, YaminiHasini, Neeraj Mallick, SavvyDaExplorer, Sunny_A, ShravanRN, _Vinay, Sawan, Manish0891, KP099 (Kumar), Pacificss, Jilaawatan (Inder), ShaileshKPandey, and so many more... I love reading them.. talking to them..bugging them..Each one of you mean a lot to me and I want to meet all of you someday!! Yeah!!

THE FRAGRANCE OF FREEDOM!!

7. Hyderabad: This is not just a place, this is another page in the book of my life. For the first time, in my life, I was away from home, not on a family trip, not on a school/college trip, but on a trip of my choice, where I went because I wanted to go. Thank You Viswa for making it possible. Paradise Biryani, Hyderabadi Bangles, Chaar Minar, RAC Train Travel, Endless Bus Travel and of course "Shwetha & Ra..." --- It is all going to be etched in my memory forever!

 

I guess that's about it. I have written enough and now when I look back on what I have written... I feel proud and grateful.

Thank You!!

P.S. I didnt want to repeat meeting Ms. Kiran Bedi here in this post 'coz that deserves a separate mention and it has been given its due here

Kiran Bedi and I Ft. Dhanush and I

I met her. I have grown up listening that I should become like her and learn from her. A die hard fan, me! I couldn't stop smiling when she was finally in front of my eyes.

God of Luck has been so kind to me that not only did I get an autograph, India Today put this picture up on their website, for which I will be grateful forever.

And they have me on Headlines Today here !!

Is it a beginning of something very exciting? :) You never know....!!

It is Madness..

that mad rush of emotions,

that stupid thought to write every single thing and 'blog' it,

that second thought to realise it indeed is a stupid thing to write about, after all you are supposed to have moved on,

that warm feeling inside, of some old memories, still not butchered with whatever happened later,

the question of why i am wrting all this,

ok...

mr. gone forever, when you say 'bye forever', please mean it.

'bye forever' on oct 23rd, shouldnt mean 'it is madness' on oct 27th.

well, you guys are not supposed to understand what is the context of the above sentence. the whole idea is crazy and emotions are indeed stupid. they make you do crazy things, which either make you laugh at yourself or make you feel dead embarassed. this has gotta stop. i dont know how many more blog posts will get wasted/utilized on this topic before this thing is completely out of my mind..

atleast now i can say that strong emotions like love,anger,hatred are all gone or have almost faded.. all that remains is a process of acknowledging the emotions which come and go, that flickering flame before it goes off completely.

i am happy 'time' has almost completed the healing process.. i am happy i took it all very positively.. i am happy that i am creating reasons for me to be proud of.. i am happy that i am going beyond my comfort zone/hiding zone.. i am out in the sun and am ready to accept the rain/shine.

just feels like quoting the great kareena kapoor from 'jab we met' -- "haan, main apni favorite hoon!!"

Words are just not enough sometimes..

kai baar lafz kam pad jaate hain...

badal do mere gam ki taareekh ko..

ab khushiyon ka mausam hai..

ab baarish mein dil nahi royega..

ab patjhad mein nahi hoga akelapan..

ab badlenge mausam ke maayne..

maine khud ko jo paaya hai..

duniya paayi hai..

'SAM'usic !!

in the night sky,

drops of music,

flying from the ground,

to become stars..

in the night sky,

the music,

becomes a person,

talking to me,

listening to me..

the moon and i,

watching over,

the creation,

of music profound..

wide eyed,

with a thousand dreams,

and the music in my eyes..

the stars hummed the tunes,

the breeze sang along,

i closed my eyes,

just the music and me..

strange how it makes you,

meet your 'self'..

this music..

hey music,

just stay,

i'll never let you go,

you make me, me,

you let me be..

in the night sky,

i am one in a million,

and you make me so,

so don't go..

the music and i,

together, forever !!

p.s. these lines go out to the entire team of 'swarnabhoomi academy of music' for making the night come alive !! thank you !!

Chilled..Seductive..Lonely..

Ek sihran si rom rom mein,
Dhadkan yu bhaagti,
Jaise ki thamna jaanti na ho,

saanson mein dhuaan,

maddham maddham,

aankho mein nasha,

behka behka,

bheege se khwab,

palkon mein chup chaap,

ek toofaan sa,

ik aandhi si,

madhosh kar dene waala,

behti hawaa ka shor,

aah bharti hui main,

is thand ke mausam mein,

kuchh aur tanha ho jaati hoon....

Small Joys of Life....

-i was thinking of writing down a lot of sadness to cheer me up (bhadaas nikaal du - types) but naaaaaaaaaa.. then i realised is-se acchha to ye hoga ki un sab palon ko yaad karoon jin-se hamesha mere chehre pe muskaan aa jaati hai...

- ek nanhi si muskaan, kisi maasoom ki..

- wo pal jab aisa lagta ki bade parde mera favorite hero sirf mere liye wo romantic gaana ga rahaa hai..

- krishna/sudesh/kapil/bhaarti ki comedy..

- jab office ja rahi hu aur baarish ki pehli boond seedha mere haath pe aa ke gire.aur fir kuchh hi palon mein saari zameen us saundhi saundhi khushboo se bhar uthe..

- jab main songs shuffle karti hoon aur wo gaana bajne lage jo mere current mood se ekdum match karta ho..

- jab kbc chal raha ho, aur contestant se poochha question mujhe aata ho..

- jab main tweet karoon aur mera favorite tweeter mere tweet ko retweet kare..

- jab meri jeans ki fitting thodi loose ho jaaye (well, this one is a dream but 'working-out' on it)

- jiska call expect kar rahi hu, uska phone khud aa jaaye..

- jab papa poochhte hain ki 'haan €€(my name), kaisi ho?'

- jab tv koi puraana romantic gaana aa raha ho aur wo gaana papa, mummy ki taraf dekh k zor zor se gaane lagein...

- jab main kavita likhoon aur fir padhu aur khud hi waah waah kar uthoon..

- jab neend se jaagoon aur ye pata chale ki 'paanch minute' aur so sakti hoon..

aur aisi hi dher saari khushiyaan...

Love is.........Ugly!

love leaves you sleepless,

restless, helpless,

and then when it doesnt work out,

it leaves you blackmailed,

it leaves you tortured,

it leaves you threatened,

of acid on your face,

it leaves you strangled,

hanging from the fan,

it leaves your wrist bleeding,

it leaves you lying bruised and raped,

in a jungle or on an abandoned road side,

it leaves you unprotected and unpopular,

it leaves you on facebook,

as a status message,laughing at you,

it leaves you alive but more dead,

with every second,

it leaves you ashamed and embarassed,

in front of everyone you know,

it leaves you in a very sad state of mind,

it leaves repenting every second,

you wish you had never loved,

never knew this deception,

this lie.....

p.s. today love leaves you ugly. we all know about the positives of being in love but there is another side of the coin too. love, no one is stopping you, infact when love strikes no one can stop you, not even yourself. but just be careful. take your decisions in a calm state of mind. keep a confidant. keep someone informed of your steps so that you can be rescued before things get out of hand. love is important and you cannot escape from its charm. but just remember, what's more important is you and your well - being. take care!

AAS - A Beginning

you must be thinking why this new name? (not that 'you' is quite a number who cares, but still). well, this is just to depict that i am getting back to some serious blogging/writing/expressing/sharing and nurturing my dreams. writing is therapeutic and it does wonders to oneself. a thousand things are going through my head right now but i am going to tackle one thing at a time. so now onwards, there will be regular posts, genuine thoughts and umpteen expressions.

not that i remember this one correctly, but just to sum up the entire hurricane inside my brain - "hum akele hi chale the jaanib-e-manzil magar, humsafar milte gaye aur kaarwaan banta gaya"

that's it for now. this should help me sleep :)

Speak Up!

the thing is that if you dont speak up, you will always be taken for granted. there is just one life you get in this game that we are living. by no means will you get 'quit' 'play again' options. live it the way you want to. there can not be anything worse than letting it all go and then repenting in the last minute and by last minute i really mean the last breath. stop letting everyone take you for a ride. maximum, you will fall but you will learn. so what if you made mistakes, it doesnt mean you will have to surrender and just become a part of the crowd, forgetting 'yourself'. smile inside. show some faith on yourself. tell yourself as many times as possible 'i trust you'.

p.s. go ahead, girl!

There is Light......

he gives you a new day, everyday! €the waves of time erase the pain from the sand of your life. it brings some beautiful shells to the shore. the sand tickles your toes and you can't help but smile, because is no time, the sun rises and there is light.

p.s. its been 8 days since i had junk food and i have started working out from yesterday .

A Quick Post

my birthday is tomorrow and my birthday resolution is 'no junk food' and 'never to talk to the bitch'!!

Disappointed with Myself!

like i told in the previous post, i would go out and check my weight but i didnt. i slept off in the afternoon and kept procastinating till now. now it is late evening and i dont feel like going out. to add more to this sad story i have ordered chicken biryani and chilly chicken. the only thing i did relavant to my goal is to keep a step in my room to do step exercises. all in all, i am very disappointed with myself :( . and this 'dhunk dhunki' katrina slimness on tv is making me want to cry! :(

The First Step

ok as there couldnt be a better title to this post. well, the purpose behind starting this blog is a dream that one day this blog will be one day called 'the regular slim girl blog'. if you are a philosopher reading this and cant stop yourself from saying that 'my child, you are beautiful the way god created you' - to that i would say i like it better when i am slim. (i have become recently so this is an emotional as well as physical trauma) i have to lose this weight and i hope the writing and all helps me.

so, the journey towards losing weight starts today (its technically 2:00 am) and the first step is to take my weight. next post hopefully would beging with my actual weight or my excuse for not being able to go out to take my weight, whatever suits me.

alright this post ends here and yes, this blog will not have any capital letters because i am blogging from my blackberry and somehow i am not able to get any capital letters here.

goodnight everyone and yeah, i'd like to have some followers for this blog alright?