Think About It - 2

Planning to do everything? You will get nothing done. Take baby steps. Concentrate on the most important things first.  

Think About It - 1

Ownership is more of a responsibility than a right. Similar to how your iPhone has a scratch guard but daddy's car still has a dent from last weekend's long drive with your friends. 

How to Deal with Anger?

When you are angry: 

- Pause before speaking. (This one is the toughest because the most defining characteristic feature of anger is "out of control")

- Change your location. (This could be as simple as going into the next room which is empty. The point is going away from people)

- Tell yourself "I will regret this outburst. This is pointless." (Self-talk is under-rated. Make the most of it. You watch out for yourself)

- Countdown. Higher the intensity of anger, higher the number you countdown from. (This really helps!) 

- Look for alternative expressions. (Writing, gardening, kickboxing, etc. You can also take it out on a pillow or a stress ball. Things are immaterial. Relationships are priceless.) 

- Drain it.  (Anger does not prove your strength. Rather it shows a weak will power and shaky character.  At the same time, tears do no make you weak. Be a "no non-sense" guy. Cry it out alone. You are strong when you do not show your tears.)

The points mentioned above are not so easy. 

When angry all we think of is taking it out on the first person who comes in front of us. Sometimes somebody totally innocent gets to feel the brunt of it.  

When we are angry, all we think of is to cool ourselves down by saying and doing things which we do regret later. 

So it's definitely a challenge to deal with anger, especially when we are the ones angry. 

More than these quick tips, what would help us most is a change in our lifestyle. Research has proven that people who do the following are found to have fewer episodes of anger. 

- The ones who hang out with friends quite often. 

- The ones who laugh a lot. 

- The ones who exercise or play a sport. 

- The ones with a hobby like dancing, reading, writing, singing, gardening, knitting, swimming etc. 

- The ones who have bigger dreams in life. 

- The ones who value relationships more than trivial things. 

I agree that all this is easier said than done but ones put in practice, life becomes much easier, more calm and to top it all, FUN!! 

How do you deal with your anger? What is your secret key that brings the smile back and defeats that sudden rush of rage? Tell me about it in the comments section. 

Striving for a better day, each day. 

Aparna Gautam 

4 Reasons Why You Should Start Fresh

What if this was Day 1 of your life? Think about forgetting all the garbage that we keep stuffing our minds with. All the ashes of the past; dust of inactive thoughts etc. All vanished. Only if we genuinely believe that today is the first day of our lives, we can know our true selves. Now the advantages of this thought are many. 

Firstly, this day comes to us as a breath of fresh air. We feel free. We feel light.

Secondly, this day has come to us where we welcome it with our experienced beings. We are intelligent, wise and full of knowledge gained over the span of our entire lives. Now you would blame me of giving a contradictory statement right here. But then even if you try hard, you can never forget your knowledge, wisdom and intelligence. No matter how badly you want to forget, you could never forget how to eat, how to trust wisely, how to be alert, how to speak, how to weigh our actions and thoughts etc. Try. Go try. I challenge you. You can not forget. But when you call this day a new day, you automatically free yourself from the chain of negative thoughts and past memories. 

Thirdly, now your mind has a lot of free space. Millions of GBs *wink* to be precise. So what are you going to do with it? You will make new memories. Generate new ideas. Constructive views. Its like cleaning your house and then lighting a scented candle or to spray a room freshener if you are a little tired of the cleaning ;). But on a serious note, cleaning your mind does not leave you tired. Rather it leaves you energized and full of life. 

Fourthly, now that you know it is a new day, you will see everything in a new light. The same people, situations and things around you, will become pleasant. You would feel grateful for what all you have. Remember you have forgotten your negative past. You have the learning but you do not have hard feelings against anyone. Now how is that for a change? Everything will suddenly feel lovely. 

(The rest of the advantages are for you to explore. Do come back and share your experience in the comments sections. I will be delighted to hear from you.)

Now you are packed with so much energy and positive spirit. Go conquer the world. Achieve your dreams. Make a difference. Go live your life today!!

High Five!

Aparna Gautam

To LinkedIn, From A Newbie

I was starting to have sleepless nights thinking about my LinkedIn profile. With only 2 and a half years of work experience, I was feeling doubtful whether I would have any solid content to go to a profile which shares the same online platform with the "biggies" of all industries. 

But nevertheless, I decided to give it a shot. I signed up. From the first step on-wards, all my doubts slowly started to vanish. It all seems so easy. Its like a mini interview wherein you just keep answering facts about your work experience, education etc. 

The catch was the "skills" and the "summary" section. I was staring at the screen. One does seem to wonder that at such an early juncture in your career what skills does one have to be qualified as a skill mention-able in your LinkedIn profile. But then one starts to think slowly. MS Office, Communication, Public Skills..... Words started to pour in my mind and I got to typing. Skill is simply defined as something you are good at. A little bit of thought could give you quite a list. I myself ended up mentioning 15+ skills. Quite an achievement, where I thought I could go blank. 

Then came the summary section. This one was another rocky ride. I turned to Google to look at few examples. Felt a little confident. Read it somewhere --- "Your LinkedIn Summary should describe why you do what you do and it should make someone want to read it, even if the reader has only 10 seconds". Sounds quite tricky. What could one write so interesting that someone in a rush would also want to stop by and have a look. Gave it a thought too and ended up writing a small note about my professional self. I am sure I will keep going back to my profile and keep updating the summary and skills. 

As I was finishing section after section, I kept feeling as if I am accomplishing something outstanding. Your skills, education, achievements, outlined in black and white could give you quite a high. It does not matter even if it is small compared to the world around you. You get to know a lot about yourself and that heart-warming feeling of pride comes in. 

Once you have filled out all the sections, LinkedIn provides a level of completion to your profile. Now ask me what level have I been conferred upon. Ask me. Ask me. Come On. Okay I am dying to tell you. "Expert". Yes, somehow LinkedIn feels that my profile has been completed till the "Expert" level. I don't know how to interpret it. But the word itself brought a big grin on my face.  

I did not stop there. I slowly started searching for people I know and out came a plethora of known faces. I was sitting for hours inviting people to connect. And now slowly notifications are coming in as invites are getting accepted. 

I don't need to mention that EVERYONE  is on LinkedIn. Now I am too. (It has surely excited me enough to come back and blog about it.) It is a wonderful platform to share, learn and grow. It is nothing like the usual social networking sites. It is carved out for professionals and there is space for everyone and it is all FREE FREE FREE! 

This post might seem trivial to all the LinkedIn members, because presumably it is a must to have this profile. But my sole purpose of writing this post would be achieved if I am able to get even one more person to come on to LinkedIn as a new member and experience being "Linked". When there is so much to learn and information/inspiration is available at the tip of your finger then why wait. 

I end my day now with a feeling of content and pride. Go register yourself to know what I am talking about. 

Thrilled and Excited.

Aparna Gautam

The 'Writer'..

The pen is rusted. 

The paper ruffled. 

The ink is dust now. 

Words are stone. 

And the stories remain untold.

I miss the 'writer' in me. 

Orkut-Facebook-Blogger-Twitter

I am coming to mention my reading habit, umpteenth time now. But this post holds reference to what I have been reading off late. 

Almost all the management gurus, trainers, consultants have increasingly started to make reference to "How should one behave online? How should your social networking profile be? What should you say or not say? etc etc"

To be precise the following has been said about how to be while you are online:

- Do not use abusive words in your status updates/tweets/blogs

- Do not post offensive photographs 

- Do not say anything online that you would regret later (also holds good for emails).

I agree with all the above mentioned points. And if judged on these parameters my social life (online) would secure 99.99% marks (0.01% left to grace the benefit of doubt).

But then while you are reading the details on how a proper online social life should be, one tends to get doubtful. Especially people like me, who have been known for being online ALL THE TIME. :). Orkut-Facebook-Blogging-Twitter have been known to make everyone expressive. I can hardly think of anyone around me who doesn't get excited about sharing online, now be it, photographs, their achievements, thoughts or almost anything that matters. I do the same. I write. I write a lot. But will I be able to say that my online activities from the day I came online, have all been "proper". May be. May be not.  

Now should I go back and get on a "deleting frenzy"? Here comes the point I am trying to make in this post. I will not get on a deleting frenzy, not anymore, just so that a certain person does not judge me. When I read myself over and over, I have realized that I have grown mature over these years and my writes (be it my blogs, tweets, FB status updates) have all been proof of that. I would not want to miss my-self again. I would want to always remember how  I have evolved. No matter what I am tomorrow or where I am, achieving my dreams I would always come back to this and feel proud. 

I have realized that my emotions are my strength because I can express. All of this from Day 1 till date, has been me. I have learnt. I have grown but I would never forget my past and the teachings of it all. 

So here I am, 

promising to myself,

and to all the others,

who read me,

that,

I will continue,

to learn,

to share.

I promise to be,

proud of my beginning,

my destination,

and the road taken.

I promise to be,

Me!!

Lots of Sunshine,

Aparna Gautam

P.S. So you did notice? YES! My name. That's the whole point. :)

P.P.S. And please feel free to share what you think about your "Online Journey". 

Why Dont I Wake Up Early?

So now we have come down to one post a month? And what has brought this post up? A video. A video which did not load because of an internet speed which is waiting for the new billing cycle to start in spite of the bill being paid before time. (Some logic I say!). Anyways, the video is about "how to wake up early?" by the bestselling author Mr. Robin Sharma.

 

So like you would have guessed by now, I did not get to see the video but nonetheless the title of the video got me thinking. My question to myself is "Why Don't I Wake Up Early?". Let's think. Why don't I? Why have I never got up early unless there are 'life & death' situations like board exams I didn't prepare for? Should we get down to listing down reasons why I never got up early till today morning err.... afternoon.. mmm...late afternoon. ;)

 

1. Sleeping early? Early? Never early. I sleep late at night or to be precise I sleep very early in the morning. By 3:00 am; 4:00 am, or 5:00 am sometimes 6:30 am. Is there a typographical error in this statement? Nope. I sleep at a time when I should be getting up.
2. Why do I sleep so late or not sleep at all? All the thinking. Sometimes self generated. Sometimes thanks to loading/not loading of the FB and twitter timelines. Thanks to the iPhone never leaving my side. Technology never lets you sleep. It leaves you curious. Hungry for more. It leaves you refreshing the webpage every 10 seconds. I am one of those honored souls who complain at 2:30 am that the timeline is reallyyyyyy slow.
3. Other times, its a book. Some hell-of-a book not letting me sleep. A thought provoking write up. A work so interesting that I prefer going till the last page than to shut my eyes and go to sleep.
4. Thinking. Well I cannot leave this point unexplained. One of the major reasons why I lose sleep  is that I think a LOT. Chain of thoughts sometimes lead me to such negative zones that I find it difficult to come back without losing sleep for a couple of days.
5. Mornings. This is something worth imagining. Sometimes I do sleep in time. 10:00 pm sharp. Then what happens. There is also an alarm for 6:00 am (perfection galore) but then... The alarm goes sharp at 6:00 am and I snooze it for a while and dismiss it after a while. I ask myself what do I have to do getting up so early. My mind screams out loud - Nothing. So there we go. I doze off even before the fan takes into the next round. zzZZZ.
6. Baby! Baby! Baby! No not the Justin Bieber Song. A point. A valid point. The most beautiful point. And I will do anything for my small packet of joy. Losing sleep is the least I could do for this wonderful addition to our lives.

So I conclude that people who get up early are the ones with 'Purpose'. For anybody to get up as planned should have an agenda for the day. Simple reason why I used to get up for exam preparations was to prepare for the exams. (Duh!) My day should have a schedule as tight as if I wish to squeeze more life out of each day. I need to get up to live, to have a dream and to achieve it. Day dreaming is not helping me. What I am fascinated by is the outcome of hardwork. But where is the hardwork for me to have the necessary outcomes? Where is the spark? The shine? The purpose? Its time to think right. Its time to sleep in time. Its time to wake up early. And in Mr. Sharma's words.... Its time to join the 5 am club.

 

The clock is ticking,

Cheers.

The Pink Orchid

 

 P.S. Do you get up early? How?????
You don't get up early? Why???

 

 

 

 

 

A Quick Rant

Happiness is elusive. Saying it the 1000th time that the key to my happiness is with someone else. Big Fail! 

And The Smile is Back

It has been long since I wrote something positive or thought anything positive. Something that could bring a smile on my face. My question is what is my worry about? Failure to control? Failure to trust? Failure to stop expecting? What if I delete all these things from my life? Why do I have to control or expect? When it comes to trust, well, the lack of it is only going to burn me inside? My inability of not saying what I want to say, when I want to say it? Got to work on myself a bit. LOL! Not a bit, quite a lot. My peace! My space! My happiness! When Where and How?

Now that was the most mundane introduction to an even more mundane post that is coming up. I am literally pushing myself to write this and I am writing exactly in the speed of my thought flow. It has been 28 days since my C-Section. Stitches are yet to heal and the pain remains but I do not want to get imprisoned by my health. Not compromising even a bit with the baby's needs and "demands". Apart from that all the household work that I am able to do, I am doing. Mommy is a great great help. I dont know if anyone understands her but I have never seen a more selfless person than her. All that makes her really bloom is a little bit of appreciation for ALL that she does. The baby is continuing to be his brave self. Braving treatment, injections, tests, vaccinations and what not. I wonder if these are good or bad times to be born in the 21st century. We are more health prone but then again dependent on injection pricks and medication drips/oral insertion for every darn thing. 

Today our hearts almost broke when we saw blood being drawn from his delicate little arm for certain tests. Felt that strong emotion that parents feel when your child is suffering. The Baby couldn't even express how scared or how much in pain he was. He

screamed. He wailed, drawing tears from all our eyes. But then again the moment he was in our laps, he got quiet as if he knew we will take care of him and no one can hurt him. He knew he is safe now.

I have got hold of this amazing book "I'm Pregnant, Not Terminally Ill, You Idiot!" by Lalita Iyer. (Not hyperlinking, Google if you want to know more, You lazy cutenesses!). Came across this book on twitter while celebrity-account hopping. This book looks really interesting and I will be able to relate to it the most since I have experienced motherhood quite recently. In fact I cant start to read through the moment I end this post which I just noticed has gone beyond the average length of my recent posts. 

Okay now, coming back to my first baby, my better half, my hubby dearest. I am not going to say much to let eyebrows be raised or get a "WTH" from him. All I want to say here is how much does it take to stop spoiling what is so beautiful and exceedingly special. The love can not be denied and even the endless efforts that we keep doing to prove otherwise can not be denied too. But that is not the point. The point is that I want to be happy. He is the reason of my happiness, no matter how philosophy beats upon the authenticity of the exact opposite. I am going to advocate more smiles and less tears. Reduce the things which lead to futile efforts on correction (so called). I am (I repeat) going to be happy and will do anything that it takes. 

Phew! Now this is a positive post. 

With her cheerful smile

The Pink Orchid 

It lives on..

The love hate relationship with the blog continues and the blog lives on... Thank God! 

Monthly Updates.. Hardly... Sigh..

Can not believe the blog which was created to have daily blog updates is not even getting monthly updates. Sigh! What do I blame it on? Laziness! Maybe.. No thoughts or stories to share. This cant be the reason as my brain still thankfully continues to overwork and is capable of drawing smokey flames like an overworked machine. Also like every action has an equal and opposite reaction, the readership has gone down, IndiRank is on its all time low, I dont stand a chance in a million years to get nominated for any of the blog awards which I was quite frequently enlisted for in the last phase of my blogging. But anyways, no point regretting on what has happened. Also no point making promises when you know there are strong chances of you not becoming regular here anytime soon. But that doesnt take away from the fact that I am loving scribbling here. 

In a very very short while we will have the youngest brat in the family. Cant wait to hold the bundle of joy in my arms. Am I scared? Of course. Without a single fragment of doubt. Heart beats faster every time I think of the pain, the needles, nurses, doctors, etc etc but then all of it vanishes when I think of those flower petal like hands and feet, those tiny eyes.. I can go on and on. In these times I cant even get myself to think of anything else.

Workwise, well, the long leave continues and I am sure this time (free time ;) is never coming back so I would want to make the most of it. Though the last month has gone by taking care of health, foodwise, insulin-wise, doctor-visit wise. With Mr. Husband, fortunately, walking with me every step of the way, things have not been all that tough. 

Currently reading "The Goal" by Mr Eliyahu M Goldratt and I must say its a page turner. I would recommend it to all the management professionals/students/aspirants. The book will make you feel the heat of it all. Management is not just a fancy word. Read this one to know more.

Okay time to stop typing but before I say bye here is something I would like all of you to visit and like it if you love it. https://www.facebook.com/kaysrasoi ----> Hubby Dearest's Yummazing Recipes Page. This one offers easy recipes which will make you drool and want to learn more and cook more. 

Until next time

Smiles and Sunshine

The Pink Orchid

Mom-To-Be and Worried

Funny how I always turn to my blog when I am going through strange times. Right now with a 100 things that I want to write about, one stupid toolbar is blocking 5% view of this page. Well, that is that least of the things I am concerned about but still it does irritate you when you are already sort of bogged down. 

Okay first things first. The baby is due in a couple of months and to hell's glory I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. So things that were seeming quite normal till date are suddenly painted with grey fear of "complications". The doctor left no stone unturned to scare me out of my wits about what all could happen if I do not take proper medication and follow the 'correct' diet. I am scared. This thing doesnt go off my mind even for a fraction of a second. Have I unknowingly done something wrong to the baby? Will everything be normal? Am I proving to be a bad mother already? Is the baby inside me hating me? A lot of questions keep haunting me day in day out. Maternity leave has started so one does have a lot of free time. Not sure if the decision of taking maternity leave a little early was a good idea or a rushed one. But anyways I have already applied so I better do what would-be-moms do at this stage. Be healthy. Listen to the doctor. And remain happy as much as possible, even more. 

Hubby dearest is really kind and being his supportive self. He literally calmed me down after I met the doctor and she gave me the above mentioned updated. He can take care of me. I can see that and I am happy to see he cares about every tiny detail related to me and the baby. I am proud of him. Lol with this para right here this post doesnt look so depressing. Isnt it? Anyways with a husband like that life's problems dont seem like they are such a big deal. 

Also not to forget I am reading a lot and the more I read the more I feel it is such a healthy habit. Reading can help restore my sanity otherwise I can get really stressed with the latest developments. I will come back with more updates when I visit the doctor on monday, 17th June. 

Did I tell you that mom, dad and sister are coming down this friday. Yes yes!! this friday!! I am super excited. Mom is coming down after 1 year and few months. It will be such a delight to see her here everyday. It'll definitely relax me more. I hope sis and I dont fight on anything. I hope we are grown up enough and if we do I still hope mom can handle our fights like earlier days when we were kids. Lol it will be embarassing if my husband sees me fighting with sis like that. *giggles*.

It is getting to be a long post. I think I should give it a rest now. It does seem like I will be here more often but that's what I say everytime I blog. Isnt it? 

Anyways, until the next storm of emotions sets in,

Keep Shining,

Lots of Smiles,

The Pink Orchid

Doubts Galore...

Sometimes in the middle of the thinking process, certain extremely painful thoughts crop in. What if the people we consider friends and rely on so much, decide not to be there when we need them? What if all the trust that we are putting in a relationship is ultimately proved to be a mirage? What if we lose out in the competition? What if we never realise who we are competing against? What if the dreams do not come true? What if we get tired and give up in between?

There are no answers to these questions, since future is predominantly unknown. Positive thinking is the key. All the ships in the ocean would reach their destination - that is hope. Reality is we just got to sail in our own ship and leave the rest on time. Life is only fair.

Until next time
The Pink Orchid

Irritated !!

Not having a good night's sleep, can make your day as screwed up as hell. Right now I am feeling completely drained of energy with no clue as to how I could get back to smiling. If left to it I dont even have the energy to talk today, or utter a single word to be precise. Not to forget, the stress and irritability that comes as a part of the package.

If the question is "Why did I not sleep properly?". Well I would blame that to the side-effects of preparing myself to welcome a new member into the family shortly. (Not going into the details, as there are at least a million books talking about the symptoms.)Yes, yes, I can't blame anyone and nor can anyone blame me if I do not come across as my cheerful self today.

Not looking forward to this day at all and I know that I am going to drag myself through it. Or may be as the day progresses, the zeal of life might be re-ensured into me. Ok Ok I know I am sounding extremely dramatic and I should shut-up now.

The Contentment

And another day has come to an end. The day was tiring no doubt. Office not that much but then cleaning the house, doing the dishes. Won't say that hubby dearest doesn't help. He cooked dinner for both of us. Only he has this capability of being sweetest sometimes and meanest some other times. But being tired helps. Nothing like breathing in a clean house with shining floors. Feels so fresh!! After all its my home and I should be taking care of it. If not me then who else will? Eyes are definitely feeling heavy. It was a beautiful holi and I'm going to bed with a feeling of content. Phew!

Scribbling Away...

I am staring at the letters and not sure of what to type I guess. Funny how I could have written about so much all this while but never got around to it. Reason? Well, things might not sound so exciting or even if they do they might not feel "right". Getting to be a mother in a few months and the journey so far has been a bumpy ride. Mood swings, fatigue, hunger and loss of appetite, or just being uneasy and not to forget all the lecture and free advice one can come across at this stage. But when it comes to "understanding" what I am in to, well, that doesn't seem like anybody's cup of tea. I too am scared of talking about my difficulties all the time, I'm scared of being labelled as annoying. But then I won't say that I don't miss a hand on my forehead, a sympathetic ear, a comforting hug, some patience that shows that "yes I understand, you weren't always like this. I understand your hormones are playing up a little bit. I then feel that even if all of this was available when ever I'm falling short of it, I might still be shedding tears about something else. I don't mean to call myself over-sensitive. I just mean to say that life is tough no doubt but I don't have to push myself to the edge all the time. I mean its ok to get upset, feel bad once in a while as long as I'm able to pull myself back up again. To top it all I can hear a baby crying somewhere. Not for long. Soon enough I'll have one crying, lying next to me and throwing all sorts of tantrums which will make me go "crazier". Anyways, scribbling helps. Sigh...

The For-grantedness!!

How sometimes one loses patience and remembers that this is the maximum they can take?
I have been ignorant and selfish while growing up. Now why am I saying that? It's because now I understand how someone who is being selfless and is always being there for you, shouldn't be taken advantage of. I don't know if I am making sense but I had to rant this out. I hope things get better and inner peace prevails.

Why Did You Never Teach Me?

You taught me how to,
Toughen up against the world,
Stand up for my rights,
Be morally right,
And polite.

You taught me how to,
Love selflessly,
And to keep the family together,
To understand and listen,
Be kind.

You taught me how to,
Smile in pain,
And not be afraid,
Be grateful,
And work hard.

But why is it that,
Tears roll down my cheeks,
When my forehead burns with fever,
Or when an injection hurts?

Why is it that everything I cook,
Reminds me of you?

Why is it that you never taught me,
How to live without you??

Mom, I don't know if I have said it enough number of times but I miss you a lot and I'm counting days to the moment when I will see you. I hope that happens soon enough.

All In One Day...

What is this day about? It was about stress. Stress of all kinds. It was about not being able to express yourself and not having the strength to guard myself against "stress". It was about trying to take care of myself (as much as I can) but then failing and suffering as a result. It was about not being able to explain myself without sounding rude. That was me losing the battle against this stressful day. But is it over? No, not yet. Not before the "guilt" comes crawling into my mind of not being able to become the perfect partner one expects when the door opens, the door to our abode. It was about having a cheerful smile because you missed seeing him the whole day in spite of the day being so mean to you. But it was also about frowning and getting really disappointed at the fact that you do need to justify yourself even if you are not wrong.

But like I said, it was after all just a day. It came to an end and the Sun will rise again tomorrow and I'll be here to see it. Phew! Writing does help. So do we say that I won the battle after all?