Today when I'm sitting alone at this coffee shop, reflecting on my todays, I realize that one needs to do this every day. Sitting at a quiet place (ok this place is not quiet) and spending time with oneself. I know it sounds philosophical and I am not spending time with myself right now. I'm rather waiting for someone. But that's not the point. The point is I'm not at peace with myself. I'm not liking my own company. I'm looking for distractions, almost intoxicated with worldly things. The thing that matters the most 'inner peace', is somehow missing today.
May be because life is moving on a jet speed and I'm not able to catch up. Thrill, excitement, plans, dreams and what not. I'm also trying to guard myself and protect myself from being hurt again. But I guess that's not possible. I can never fight against the 'unknown' - the future. I wouldn't know what are the weapons or tactics this future will use to win against me. Surprisingly I look at my future as an enemy. A very big signal of insecurity. Not right, but at least I know what exactly I have to be working on.
Being scared of the future, makes your present weak. Am I scared? No! But am I prepared? Big No!! Anyways, all said and done, its nice to have the control of my life in my hands. My choices, my wins, my losses, my lessons, my rewards.. And then someone to share all this with, who would love to listen, who respects the intellectual in me, adores the child in me, loves the woman in me, understands the human in me. I'm thankful to all the people who have helped me heal, recover and be back to life in 'full form'. The next post will have a detailed memoir of how each person around me has contributed to my 'new life'.
To conclude, I'd just say.... I am not sure if I'd win all my battles of the future but I am sure as hell gonna try. I'm armed with confidence, fresh outlook, determination, self-belief, and trust of people who mean the world to me.
I don't believe in "big talks", at least not anymore. If I'm able to spend each day with pride and sleep each night with peace, I know that I'm livin' it up! And right now, I'm not just livin' it up, I'm livin' it up 'Queen' style..
2 comments:
sometimes it is better to listen someone's without any comment.
Glad to see the positive attitude. so many people I know are going through a bad year ( was writing a post on the same ), so its refreshing to see a post of new happy beginnings :)
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