My 2015 Confessions

My 2015 was a lot of things. An FB post would definitely not suffice. I would want to relive some of those moments while I type away.. Please bear with me..

In 2015...

1. The screen in front of me blurred a lot of times while I typed. The keyboard got fed salty droplets, while my laptop wondered what's wrong.

2. I laughed a lot. I laughed so much that my stomach hurt. 27% of the times I was genuinely happy.

3. My sky fell short as the days went by. The sky that I got had all clouds. The earth that I got was nothing but a fallow land.

4. I genuinely picked books this year. I pledged to learn..to polish my skills..to become a better version of me. I'm still going strong.

5. I made few promises. Lived some. Broke some.

6. I gave in to the spur of the moment. I behaved immaturely more than once. Definitely not something that I am proud of.

7. I went back to my roots. The songs of the soil will always be cherished.

8. I built many illusions. Its as if you feel that you own the world but you may not have solid ground under your feet. Illusions. Yes, many of them.

9. I caused hurt and pain to few dear ones. I will remember the knot after tying two parts of a broken thread. I will remember to not fall prey again to strong temporary illogical beliefs.

10. I sat alone by the quiet river. Life is a weird thing. The more you run from it the more it engulfs you in it. I ran. Ran from myself, from the unpleasant, from the negative, from the undesirable..and stopped by this river. My reflection flickered in the water as I bent to quench my thirst. I slipped. I fell. I drowned. Now I don't run anymore.

11. I got wounds but healed too. I'm ready to wither more as I stand firm on my feet.

12. I got hit by the ocean waves and got bruised. But funny how the warm salty water of the sea doesn't let you go home injured. The sand provides you shelter. This year I fell in love with the ocean again.

13. I saw rain. Lots of it. Hopes, lives, future floating, rotting in neck deep water. But then the clouds parted to give way to the Sun. The rays shone through.

In 2015, I continued to be my complex self. I may want to go back and change few things and I may also want to go back relive few things.

55 minutes  more to go before the new year rings in. I'm planning to live each day as it comes and make the most of each moment.

Happy new year !!

Her Truth

She had storms in her feet or let's say waves...she could dance for hours..imagining an audience cheering for her and wanting to see only her performance. She was a born celebrity. Giving interviews, signing autographs, addressing crowds, receiving awards, hosting events --- right there..always under the spotlight..whenever she was alone..in her own world. She was her inspiration - her world where she completely rocks! A little more bounce in her hair and her gait.. A dress that shows her flat mid riff (precisely a T-shirt knotted a little above her waist...Lol) and the music... Loud, melodious... And the applause.. She was the queen..the most famous one with a spark in her..

But then..she grew up and saw everyone else getting defined by their muses, their companions. Who will be hers? She didn't know what she wanted. Who is that ideal companion? Voila..she realized..any Tom, Dick or Harry who likes her is an ideal companion.. She met Toms, Dicks and quite a lot of Harrys. All that glitters is not gold. True. But she ran behind the glitter. Since everyone else has something that shines... Someone who writes beautifully for someone. Someone who fights and protects someone from other creeps. Someone who makes someone laugh. Someone who makes someone cry when not around. Different shades of glitter. But not gold !! Mere stones with glossy finish..

She never realized what she wanted or who she was until that one fine day she saw the hero stretch himself out on the stage floor completely in front of his heroine while millions of fans watched. He thanked his mademoiselle, his leading lady for making him meet himself -- his real self.

She wanted someone who could give himself to her completely..surrender to her to win her heart.. Someone who will reach the peak of success and stretch his hand for her, just to prove that it's all because of her and is for her..someone for whom she could go beyond all means and limitations and it will all be worth it..someone who can be himself with her and be himself because of her..on top of it all she wanted someone she can be her real self with.

Because as a little girl, she had always imagined that one unknown stranger who means a lot to her, watching her, admiring her, being proud of her, while she sets the stage on fire!