Why Marry?!

Why Marry? Well, why not? All the fears that lie in this whole phenomenon of marriage is the reason why marriages are so scary. Its about perception and wrong beliefs.
You don't marry to own someone but to have someone who you would want to sleep with and get up with and be equally happy at both times.
Its about giving your all into making it work and accepting all that he has to give into it.
Its nice to have kids whose faces look like both of you and trust him for this whole experience.
Its amazing that both of you fight like crazy but then maximum in a day or two you realize "did he eat?", "can I hug him now?", "oh I miss his smile."
Its wonderful to know there is this person who can see beyond your looks, style and charm but be into you "completely".
Its a beautiful feeling this "looking into his eyes and he looking into yours - this moment when you are just his" (no, you don't require him to touch you to make you feel you are his. If his love is genuine for you, one look, one look is enough!)
Its so soothing to cook together and so refreshing to see he likes what you cook.
Its mind-blowing to have him sing for you when he feels that whiff of romance, even if he can't sing well (you are truly lucky and its a bonus if he sings beautiful and make your heart hum along)
You feel protected to have someone worrying for you, for your safety, for your future.
Its a proud feeling to have him known by your name and you by his. He making you weak in the knees with a feather touch on your cheek, looking intently into your eyes is a different story all together (definitely an integral part of marriage, very very important!!)
There are a zillion emotions and situations, both mentionable and unmentionable as far being married is concerned and trust me not all of them are beautiful. But then marriage is all about the "todays", "the sweet nothings", "the talk", "the fights that might want to kill yourself or murder him - but get worried sick the moment your phone call to him goes unanswered". Its all about the togetherness. Its magical to be able to dream together even when you know all of them might not come true but then there is something that will remain a fact till your last breath "both of you?". All the practical reasons that people literally burn themselves being worried about are the ones which are totally uncertain, no matter how hard you try. Money, success, luxury, dream destination holidays, diamonds, gold, beach house.. All of this and more can vanish in flash of a second. All it takes is one natural disaster to shake it all up and turn it into dust. But then look out and see it will be a pair of eyes looking desparately for you, so that his hand can reach out to you and pull you out of the mess/disaster/threat (what not!).
The only thing that matters the most in a life long relationship is him and what you two share when you are together and even when you are away. Rest all can be taken care of. There is nothing stronger and capable than two people with a strong commitment of being there for each other.
Don't expect a 'lifetime acheivement award' out of a marriage. Sipping the morning cup of coffee together should motivate and pep you up enough to pull you through the day and end it well. 'Marriage', all said and done is a concept of 'sticking together through thick and thin'. Its most like friendship, the only thing is, it is a friendship with loads of benefits, which entirely depends on how and what you reap out of it. Don't expect the wrong things out of marriage. Its none of things which do not last forever. Its all those things money can't buy - peace, understanding, love, trust, respect, passion, dreams, hopes, smiles and tears.
The value of marriage is known by someone whose own marriage has failed. Ironical to know that she is not complaining how she has lost faith in the institution of marriage. Its all because when she closes her eyes tonight she knows that there is someone who is praying that he should be the person who should get the responsibility of keeping her happy and taking care of her till his last breath and beyond. She knows he is dying to hear her voice. She knows he wants to marry her not only because he loves her but also because he knows that in this whole wide world he is the only man who can make her forget all the pain and make her smile from her heart. She knows that he is making her dream again. She knows that he is counting days, he has waited long enough but is just waiting for her to go running to him and never leave after that.

Don't you think they should get married?
Don't you think she deserves to be happy and he deserves the love of his life?
Don't you think "love exists!!"?

Vitamin-Aks!!

I am sleepy beyond imagination right now but I have to scribble this out. This movie "Vinaythaandi Varuvaaya" is the most stupid movie ever made. You must be wondering why such a baseless accusation. Actually its only a question -- "How could a movie be so 'you' so 'me'??"

You should have stopped loving me,
The day I walked out of your life.
You should have stopped missing me,
The day I held someone else's hand.
You should have stopped thinking of me,
The day you saw I am not the same "innocence redefined"
You should have stopped drenching me in your tears,
The day I got so practical that I stopped seeing the truth in your eyes.
You should have stopped running to me,
The day I started looking at a different horizon.
You should have stopped looking for me,
The day I stopped being the "pretty slimness".
You should have stopped writing about me,
The day I stopped listening to your words even before they poured out of your thoughts.

What we have today is beautiful. I moved on, you didn't. You waited at the same corner of the road where I left you four years ago. Your eyes still wet, forehead still moist, hands still shivering with nervousness, your heart still hoped that I would be back one day. I saw you and I wondered what could I give you. I have lost everything including the ability to love, the ability to have my heart racing faster with every breath I take. But I know I am wrong. Your emotions are taking me to the edge of the cliff and are trying to push me into the valley of new-found emotions of my own. I am falling free because you made me feel I am capable of it yet again. This time its more special because not only were you waiting, you also made me realise what have I been missing. I was missing "myself". I don't know what happens tomorrow, I am not God after all. But I have learnt this the hard way that life has nothing to do with "tomorrows". Life is made of a hell lot of "todays". And my "todays" are filled with "Vitamin-Aks". I can never be weak again, I'm sure!!

I am falling just to fly higher this time..

This Wont Make Sense to You!

Its difficult being mature. And just a sentence typed, and I realized its been ages since I typed a blogpost from a desktop (Blackberry Dependency Syndrome!!). Right now, a few mature decisions have been taken and the issues which are difficult to handle and require a foresight which I lack have been put on hold. Reiterating the fact, I would say I am still focussing on "having fun and living it up each day".
Commitments? A Big No!! Being single is so so so much fun. It is definitely less of pain and lesser of unfulfilled expectations especially for people who like to keep a tab of it.
Am I happy? Yes!! I am happy because I am being honest to myself. After a long and hard struggle to trying to make the "wrong" sound "right", I still failed. And proudly because the morals have not died yet. I couldnt compromise with the principals I never knew I had.
Does it hurt to walk out of something beautiful? It does. But how much? That depends on how prepared you were for the pain engulfing you. I was prepared. Prepared for the fact that I wont be able to be a part of a tragic lie.
Am I missing him? Yes and No! Well, in the fight between brain and heart, sensibility and morality won. Its strange having him around as a person with whom it was an emotional relationship and now I guess it would be formal. Emotional one hurt because it was lacking the vitamin-forever and this formal one will hurt because he had become a part of my daily routine. Ok may be I am sounding totally pathetic right now but I am thinking aloud. Judge me if you wish to. All I am saying is I know I am right!!
What next? Like I said, no commitments, lots of smiles, lots of food, lots of fun, lots of "me" time with people I want to be with, with people who are there for me today.
Why am I thinking so straight? I have realised life has to be seen in black and white, wrong and right. The color mix or the grey area is actually all the illusions and mess that we create around ourselves.
I know you didnt understand anything. In fact, this entire post is actually a collage of a lot of scribbles. Currently I am happy because I am in full control of my life (ok, it doesnt sound right. but then I feel I am in control) I have a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, a soul to breathe in, eyelashes to admire, songs to hum, a heart listening to my nonsensical and sensible words, moments to be cherished (new ones being added continuously). Life can happen to you in so many ways. Off late it is happening to me in the form of "AKS".