Its The Choices That I Make

Its a complete rant post. Uninterested individuals should stop reading NOW. Off late, I have been thinking whether hanging out with blessed (read RICH) people gets you discouraged about the life you are leading or gets you aspiring for more. There are people who are talking of buying houses where you could buy only a teddy bear conveniently. Does a social divide exist? Does being richer earn you respect in people's eyes? Or is it your work? Or is it about the choices you make? I personally feel it is about the choices you make. People tend to enter the maddening race of competition to ensure there are people around him/her feeling jealous of them and sorry for themselves. And few people do it because they want a comfortable life. Would I want to show off when I am rich? Would I talk only in terms of 5 star hotels, top of the line clubs, diamonds and imported cars? Now when I am thinking, it actually seems funny. I might turn out to be the most nosy snobbish person around (ok let's not be so mean to me but I'd love to show off a little). I'm sure its a great feeling when someone's pupils get dilated or jaw drops after listening to how well off you are. Or would I just be happy with the fact that I have a better life and I have worked hard for it?

In the last one and a half years, I have really learnt the meaning of the word "struggle" - counting pennies, making choices. Its when you start earning that you realize that you can't have everything. And I have accepted my pocket's capability. I am not making the right choices I am sure. But I can see myself using this phrase more often --- "I don't think I can afford it". I can see myself not going weak when my bank balance reads "Rs. 1800" (and no, I didn't miss out on a zero. It is Rupees One Thousand Eight Hundred Only as on 26th May 2012 and 14 days to survive in a city without family, not a difficult task I must say). Why am I writing about this? Because this is the rough patch I would want to remember and smile. This is the reminder of certain wrong financial decisions made or may be to re-look at the source of income. It is a wake-up call about evaluation of my skills and its worth. It is a lesson that money can buy almost everything, happiness and peace too. I would want to remember this time as a proud moment when I didn't enter the trap of debt/credit/loan from known/unknown people just because it is the easiest way out.

Also at this moment I would like to tell myself ---- "Go girl, make all the mistakes in the world. This life can be lived just once. Make it as much fun as possible. Don't let others de-motivate you, judge you or pull you down. Undoubtedly, you are a strong woman who is very balanced, mature and sensitive. Don't let the world make you think otherwise. Live each day. Live for yourself. Trust me, you are the most important person in your life and you are answerable to yourself only. Who gets to stay or thrown out of your life is a completely personal choice that you have to make. And no one, trust me no one should have any say in this regard. Let people waste their time discussing or gossiping about you. It just for you to realize that neither these people nor their opinions is worth a penny. Also I would never get tired of saying this ---- Girl, I Am Proud Of You!!!"