Right now, my facebook status reads this --- "I am fat. I eat a lot. I sleep less and get up till late. I am online all the time. I am just a girl who gets lonely and is running away from her own self. I am not able to put my mind to one thing. I want to look pretty in the pics. Everytime I upload a pic, I know what the comments are going to be. Inside and out, I am a big bundle of mess. But still I am glad I didn't give up, when time was rough on me. I am smiling now. Soon I will mean it too. I know.."
I am not trying to be defensive. But even if I am fat, it doesn't mean I eat all that much. Or even if I hog a lot of food, may be because I am still emotionally low sometimes and want to fill that gap by eating. I know it doesn't help but still. At least I am not sitting everyday with a can of beer and fried chicken. I mean you don't take a second to comment, to remark, the moment I take a plate to serve food for myself or the moment there is a discussion in which food is involved. The moment the word "chicken"/"KFC" is uttered, the discussion suddenly becomes about me. I upload a year old pic on FB, the comment is not about how nice that pic is but it is about how fat I am now. This treatment is eating me up so bad that now I avoid meeting old friends.
I know a lot of people are going to get offended reading this. May be my tone is not correct. May be I should just make it clear in front of people, on their faces, that "enough is enough". You are making me conscious, everytime I am eating in public. This blog post doesn't make any sense when I don't have the heart to tell people that even if I am laughing off that joke on fat people (meant only for me), something is cracking inside my heart. My smile is drooping into an upset curve.
Yeah I am not getting up in the morning. Yes I am not working out or going for a walk. Yes I am not cutting down on fried snacks/spicy food. So? Bite me!
This post is basically written to tell myself ----"Listen, you don't care!! You just don't care!! You build your own standards and live upto them!! 'Coz that's what matters at the end of the day!! So forget everything, and laugh on that "fat girl" joke along with everyone else but this time your heart should smile too. You don't need too many people to say/feel that you are pretty inside and this fat is just a phase. If you know it girl, its enough! It is enough! Muaaaaaah!"
Love,
To Me from Me :)
I am proud of you girl! (Note To Self)
20 comments:
A smile ran across my face reading this .. No not on u or anything but on the ppls who always have an opinion about every bloody thing .. Best part is ur way of dealing .. Yes be what u want to be and how u want to be .. Eat dil kholke :)
Immediately after clicking the Blog Link, Header Appeared .. And boy, what did I see !? Bang .. Another tracer bullet got triggered..
And as I read on.. the admiration went higher.. for the Author.. and for everyone who believe in what they see and feel, rather than what others think.. As wise men say, one will come out triumphant if enough attempts are made in right direction.. Trust me, Author is already on the verge of winning.. Every Odd in the headway will be vitiated, for sure..
And as I do always - finishing it off, stealing the Author's words.. "Am Proud Of You Girl" :)
Don't bother about any useless comments..
and as you said yourself... Don't care, don't give a damn..
but one thing is sure... you are very good at expressing yourself.. :)
i see the same eyes. i see the same smile. i see the same you.
wanted to like the above comment... but aah.. its not fb ;)
well said " "Listen, you don't care!! You just don't care!! You build your own standards and live upto them!! "
but all the time we can't live for ourselves alone.. sometimes at some places we have to try living for others and we must hear to their opinion but must act by our wish :)
Listen to me, I'm a thin girl and I get a lot of shit bcos of it...Its not fun, I go to the gym..people laugh at me, they think it is to get fat, but i go because i like to exercise..Don't care girl!..let them bullshit all they want
one thing i know that eat whatever you like and don't worry about weight
if u think much about it you will feel it and you are on FB i didn't know this
@Sachin: Loved that "eat dil kholke" :)
@Savvy: woaaah! my bestie is back! :)
@Gurnam: Aapse kum :)
@Sawan: if this was twitter i would have faved it.. :)
@Gurnam: *same pinch*
@Deepak: You said it Man! You said it!
@Ana_Treek: big hug to you .. :) The smile is what matters :)
@Chirag... hmm thank you.. and will add you soon :)
Ok. Blogspot finally relented on me and opened your post for me to read :) And yes, I can relate. That behind my back and to me talk happens a lot too, and I try to laugh it off.
"Yeah I am not getting up in the morning. Yes I am not working out or going for a walk. Yes I am not cutting down on fried snacks/spicy food. So? Bite me!"
I did say that to Dad recently, in not so many words though.
Don't listen to what others have to say. Be happy the way you are :) People are desperate to lose wight, and me? I don't know how to gain weight! I'm out of things to do. We can't be perfect now, can we? :)
Stay happy! I loved your post :)
@Leo: mixed feelings that you god relate to this one.. stay happy :)
@Philo: thanks for stopping by and that was a sweet comment. hope to see you again.. :)
Post a Comment