Will You Regret?

He is upset. Upset to know that the girl he loved, the innocent baby girl has changed, transformed, deteriorated. He knows it all. He has been told everything. But his state of shock is heart-breaking. He is sitting in front of me totally low on the zeal for life. He has forgotten all the wrongs and has accepted me with all his heart. But.. He carries a human soul inside which hurts when he sees what I have done to myself. He could have never imagined in the wildest of his dreams that he would see me in this form. Totally unbound.. Extremely open in thoughts and actions. The girl who came home clad in a sari that he gifted has died I guess. He knows. But then he tries hard to bring her back. Watering the plant that has withered might give some hope but will it flourish again is a thing for which all of us will have our own doubts. While I type this he might just be thinking of what has he gotten into. He might be wanting to re-think this whole thing. This is a life-time decision and there will be no looking back.

I know you love me and I know I can justify myself to myself. But will you understand me? And really accept me? I am right or wrong I would know and I can be at peace with myself. But... do you think I am worth it? Worth the pain, the sighs, the fights, the disappointments???

Do you think I am the "One"??

Please think about it. The last thing I would want in this world is to see you regret!!

What Do I Write About?

What do I write about? It's been so long. I have been busy and when I look back today I realise that I am re-writing my life, with words unspoken before. This is the life that I dreamt of (yes no matter how cliched that sounds). Before I begin I should mention that I have "When You Say Nothing At All by Ronan Keating" playing on my brand new Sony Vaio E Series while I am typing this blogpost.
I have been building a home for myself. My nest. It would not have been possible without him. He who is going to be the harbinger of my soul for ever and ever. He whose eyes are where I reside. I know I am sounding repetitive and boring and this post looks like just another post with few factual announcements about my life.
But the truth is I am in a state where I am feeling that I have full control of my life. Henceforth I Decide! This is a great feeling - this thing called "Independent Living".
Tonight when I will close my eyes I would again thank God for making us meet. I wouldnt want to thank Him for all the good things that are happening right now (the entire big and small of it). I would just say ----
Hey You,
Mr. Big Eyelashes...
You complain,
You crib,
You point out mistakes.....

You tickle,
You make me roll on the floor with laughter (literally)
You jump with excitement when you see me cooking.
You write notes for me..

You irritate me
You annoy me beyond imagination
You make me want to pull my hair

You make me write
You make me blush
You make me high on life

You mess up
You regret
You confuse me

You beam of confidence
You focus on us and our wellbeing
You plan on a tomorrow where we see 'us' just like how we are today

Mr. Big Eyelashes,
I wanna tell you,
I fight with you to show that I got rights on you.
I scream at you for you to know that I know you wont judge me.
I cry in front of you because I know you would still know how strong I am.
I crib in front of you because I love it when you make me understand, when you explain.
I get possessive because I am very childish about you and I like it this way. You are 'MINE'!!

And just like any other post I ended up scribbling my heart out.
I better rush now because I have to cook, clean, crib, fight, irritate, annoy, love and sleep, in no particular order.