A Quick Rant

Happiness is elusive. Saying it the 1000th time that the key to my happiness is with someone else. Big Fail! 

And The Smile is Back

It has been long since I wrote something positive or thought anything positive. Something that could bring a smile on my face. My question is what is my worry about? Failure to control? Failure to trust? Failure to stop expecting? What if I delete all these things from my life? Why do I have to control or expect? When it comes to trust, well, the lack of it is only going to burn me inside? My inability of not saying what I want to say, when I want to say it? Got to work on myself a bit. LOL! Not a bit, quite a lot. My peace! My space! My happiness! When Where and How?

Now that was the most mundane introduction to an even more mundane post that is coming up. I am literally pushing myself to write this and I am writing exactly in the speed of my thought flow. It has been 28 days since my C-Section. Stitches are yet to heal and the pain remains but I do not want to get imprisoned by my health. Not compromising even a bit with the baby's needs and "demands". Apart from that all the household work that I am able to do, I am doing. Mommy is a great great help. I dont know if anyone understands her but I have never seen a more selfless person than her. All that makes her really bloom is a little bit of appreciation for ALL that she does. The baby is continuing to be his brave self. Braving treatment, injections, tests, vaccinations and what not. I wonder if these are good or bad times to be born in the 21st century. We are more health prone but then again dependent on injection pricks and medication drips/oral insertion for every darn thing. 

Today our hearts almost broke when we saw blood being drawn from his delicate little arm for certain tests. Felt that strong emotion that parents feel when your child is suffering. The Baby couldn't even express how scared or how much in pain he was. He

screamed. He wailed, drawing tears from all our eyes. But then again the moment he was in our laps, he got quiet as if he knew we will take care of him and no one can hurt him. He knew he is safe now.

I have got hold of this amazing book "I'm Pregnant, Not Terminally Ill, You Idiot!" by Lalita Iyer. (Not hyperlinking, Google if you want to know more, You lazy cutenesses!). Came across this book on twitter while celebrity-account hopping. This book looks really interesting and I will be able to relate to it the most since I have experienced motherhood quite recently. In fact I cant start to read through the moment I end this post which I just noticed has gone beyond the average length of my recent posts. 

Okay now, coming back to my first baby, my better half, my hubby dearest. I am not going to say much to let eyebrows be raised or get a "WTH" from him. All I want to say here is how much does it take to stop spoiling what is so beautiful and exceedingly special. The love can not be denied and even the endless efforts that we keep doing to prove otherwise can not be denied too. But that is not the point. The point is that I want to be happy. He is the reason of my happiness, no matter how philosophy beats upon the authenticity of the exact opposite. I am going to advocate more smiles and less tears. Reduce the things which lead to futile efforts on correction (so called). I am (I repeat) going to be happy and will do anything that it takes. 

Phew! Now this is a positive post. 

With her cheerful smile

The Pink Orchid 

It lives on..

The love hate relationship with the blog continues and the blog lives on... Thank God! 

Monthly Updates.. Hardly... Sigh..

Can not believe the blog which was created to have daily blog updates is not even getting monthly updates. Sigh! What do I blame it on? Laziness! Maybe.. No thoughts or stories to share. This cant be the reason as my brain still thankfully continues to overwork and is capable of drawing smokey flames like an overworked machine. Also like every action has an equal and opposite reaction, the readership has gone down, IndiRank is on its all time low, I dont stand a chance in a million years to get nominated for any of the blog awards which I was quite frequently enlisted for in the last phase of my blogging. But anyways, no point regretting on what has happened. Also no point making promises when you know there are strong chances of you not becoming regular here anytime soon. But that doesnt take away from the fact that I am loving scribbling here. 

In a very very short while we will have the youngest brat in the family. Cant wait to hold the bundle of joy in my arms. Am I scared? Of course. Without a single fragment of doubt. Heart beats faster every time I think of the pain, the needles, nurses, doctors, etc etc but then all of it vanishes when I think of those flower petal like hands and feet, those tiny eyes.. I can go on and on. In these times I cant even get myself to think of anything else.

Workwise, well, the long leave continues and I am sure this time (free time ;) is never coming back so I would want to make the most of it. Though the last month has gone by taking care of health, foodwise, insulin-wise, doctor-visit wise. With Mr. Husband, fortunately, walking with me every step of the way, things have not been all that tough. 

Currently reading "The Goal" by Mr Eliyahu M Goldratt and I must say its a page turner. I would recommend it to all the management professionals/students/aspirants. The book will make you feel the heat of it all. Management is not just a fancy word. Read this one to know more.

Okay time to stop typing but before I say bye here is something I would like all of you to visit and like it if you love it. https://www.facebook.com/kaysrasoi ----> Hubby Dearest's Yummazing Recipes Page. This one offers easy recipes which will make you drool and want to learn more and cook more. 

Until next time

Smiles and Sunshine

The Pink Orchid

Mom-To-Be and Worried

Funny how I always turn to my blog when I am going through strange times. Right now with a 100 things that I want to write about, one stupid toolbar is blocking 5% view of this page. Well, that is that least of the things I am concerned about but still it does irritate you when you are already sort of bogged down. 

Okay first things first. The baby is due in a couple of months and to hell's glory I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. So things that were seeming quite normal till date are suddenly painted with grey fear of "complications". The doctor left no stone unturned to scare me out of my wits about what all could happen if I do not take proper medication and follow the 'correct' diet. I am scared. This thing doesnt go off my mind even for a fraction of a second. Have I unknowingly done something wrong to the baby? Will everything be normal? Am I proving to be a bad mother already? Is the baby inside me hating me? A lot of questions keep haunting me day in day out. Maternity leave has started so one does have a lot of free time. Not sure if the decision of taking maternity leave a little early was a good idea or a rushed one. But anyways I have already applied so I better do what would-be-moms do at this stage. Be healthy. Listen to the doctor. And remain happy as much as possible, even more. 

Hubby dearest is really kind and being his supportive self. He literally calmed me down after I met the doctor and she gave me the above mentioned updated. He can take care of me. I can see that and I am happy to see he cares about every tiny detail related to me and the baby. I am proud of him. Lol with this para right here this post doesnt look so depressing. Isnt it? Anyways with a husband like that life's problems dont seem like they are such a big deal. 

Also not to forget I am reading a lot and the more I read the more I feel it is such a healthy habit. Reading can help restore my sanity otherwise I can get really stressed with the latest developments. I will come back with more updates when I visit the doctor on monday, 17th June. 

Did I tell you that mom, dad and sister are coming down this friday. Yes yes!! this friday!! I am super excited. Mom is coming down after 1 year and few months. It will be such a delight to see her here everyday. It'll definitely relax me more. I hope sis and I dont fight on anything. I hope we are grown up enough and if we do I still hope mom can handle our fights like earlier days when we were kids. Lol it will be embarassing if my husband sees me fighting with sis like that. *giggles*.

It is getting to be a long post. I think I should give it a rest now. It does seem like I will be here more often but that's what I say everytime I blog. Isnt it? 

Anyways, until the next storm of emotions sets in,

Keep Shining,

Lots of Smiles,

The Pink Orchid

Doubts Galore...

Sometimes in the middle of the thinking process, certain extremely painful thoughts crop in. What if the people we consider friends and rely on so much, decide not to be there when we need them? What if all the trust that we are putting in a relationship is ultimately proved to be a mirage? What if we lose out in the competition? What if we never realise who we are competing against? What if the dreams do not come true? What if we get tired and give up in between?

There are no answers to these questions, since future is predominantly unknown. Positive thinking is the key. All the ships in the ocean would reach their destination - that is hope. Reality is we just got to sail in our own ship and leave the rest on time. Life is only fair.

Until next time
The Pink Orchid

Irritated !!

Not having a good night's sleep, can make your day as screwed up as hell. Right now I am feeling completely drained of energy with no clue as to how I could get back to smiling. If left to it I dont even have the energy to talk today, or utter a single word to be precise. Not to forget, the stress and irritability that comes as a part of the package.

If the question is "Why did I not sleep properly?". Well I would blame that to the side-effects of preparing myself to welcome a new member into the family shortly. (Not going into the details, as there are at least a million books talking about the symptoms.)Yes, yes, I can't blame anyone and nor can anyone blame me if I do not come across as my cheerful self today.

Not looking forward to this day at all and I know that I am going to drag myself through it. Or may be as the day progresses, the zeal of life might be re-ensured into me. Ok Ok I know I am sounding extremely dramatic and I should shut-up now.