It is Madness..

that mad rush of emotions,

that stupid thought to write every single thing and 'blog' it,

that second thought to realise it indeed is a stupid thing to write about, after all you are supposed to have moved on,

that warm feeling inside, of some old memories, still not butchered with whatever happened later,

the question of why i am wrting all this,

ok...

mr. gone forever, when you say 'bye forever', please mean it.

'bye forever' on oct 23rd, shouldnt mean 'it is madness' on oct 27th.

well, you guys are not supposed to understand what is the context of the above sentence. the whole idea is crazy and emotions are indeed stupid. they make you do crazy things, which either make you laugh at yourself or make you feel dead embarassed. this has gotta stop. i dont know how many more blog posts will get wasted/utilized on this topic before this thing is completely out of my mind..

atleast now i can say that strong emotions like love,anger,hatred are all gone or have almost faded.. all that remains is a process of acknowledging the emotions which come and go, that flickering flame before it goes off completely.

i am happy 'time' has almost completed the healing process.. i am happy i took it all very positively.. i am happy that i am creating reasons for me to be proud of.. i am happy that i am going beyond my comfort zone/hiding zone.. i am out in the sun and am ready to accept the rain/shine.

just feels like quoting the great kareena kapoor from 'jab we met' -- "haan, main apni favorite hoon!!"

Words are just not enough sometimes..

kai baar lafz kam pad jaate hain...

badal do mere gam ki taareekh ko..

ab khushiyon ka mausam hai..

ab baarish mein dil nahi royega..

ab patjhad mein nahi hoga akelapan..

ab badlenge mausam ke maayne..

maine khud ko jo paaya hai..

duniya paayi hai..

'SAM'usic !!

in the night sky,

drops of music,

flying from the ground,

to become stars..

in the night sky,

the music,

becomes a person,

talking to me,

listening to me..

the moon and i,

watching over,

the creation,

of music profound..

wide eyed,

with a thousand dreams,

and the music in my eyes..

the stars hummed the tunes,

the breeze sang along,

i closed my eyes,

just the music and me..

strange how it makes you,

meet your 'self'..

this music..

hey music,

just stay,

i'll never let you go,

you make me, me,

you let me be..

in the night sky,

i am one in a million,

and you make me so,

so don't go..

the music and i,

together, forever !!

p.s. these lines go out to the entire team of 'swarnabhoomi academy of music' for making the night come alive !! thank you !!

Chilled..Seductive..Lonely..

Ek sihran si rom rom mein,
Dhadkan yu bhaagti,
Jaise ki thamna jaanti na ho,

saanson mein dhuaan,

maddham maddham,

aankho mein nasha,

behka behka,

bheege se khwab,

palkon mein chup chaap,

ek toofaan sa,

ik aandhi si,

madhosh kar dene waala,

behti hawaa ka shor,

aah bharti hui main,

is thand ke mausam mein,

kuchh aur tanha ho jaati hoon....

Small Joys of Life....

-i was thinking of writing down a lot of sadness to cheer me up (bhadaas nikaal du - types) but naaaaaaaaaa.. then i realised is-se acchha to ye hoga ki un sab palon ko yaad karoon jin-se hamesha mere chehre pe muskaan aa jaati hai...

- ek nanhi si muskaan, kisi maasoom ki..

- wo pal jab aisa lagta ki bade parde mera favorite hero sirf mere liye wo romantic gaana ga rahaa hai..

- krishna/sudesh/kapil/bhaarti ki comedy..

- jab office ja rahi hu aur baarish ki pehli boond seedha mere haath pe aa ke gire.aur fir kuchh hi palon mein saari zameen us saundhi saundhi khushboo se bhar uthe..

- jab main songs shuffle karti hoon aur wo gaana bajne lage jo mere current mood se ekdum match karta ho..

- jab kbc chal raha ho, aur contestant se poochha question mujhe aata ho..

- jab main tweet karoon aur mera favorite tweeter mere tweet ko retweet kare..

- jab meri jeans ki fitting thodi loose ho jaaye (well, this one is a dream but 'working-out' on it)

- jiska call expect kar rahi hu, uska phone khud aa jaaye..

- jab papa poochhte hain ki 'haan €€(my name), kaisi ho?'

- jab tv koi puraana romantic gaana aa raha ho aur wo gaana papa, mummy ki taraf dekh k zor zor se gaane lagein...

- jab main kavita likhoon aur fir padhu aur khud hi waah waah kar uthoon..

- jab neend se jaagoon aur ye pata chale ki 'paanch minute' aur so sakti hoon..

aur aisi hi dher saari khushiyaan...

Love is.........Ugly!

love leaves you sleepless,

restless, helpless,

and then when it doesnt work out,

it leaves you blackmailed,

it leaves you tortured,

it leaves you threatened,

of acid on your face,

it leaves you strangled,

hanging from the fan,

it leaves your wrist bleeding,

it leaves you lying bruised and raped,

in a jungle or on an abandoned road side,

it leaves you unprotected and unpopular,

it leaves you on facebook,

as a status message,laughing at you,

it leaves you alive but more dead,

with every second,

it leaves you ashamed and embarassed,

in front of everyone you know,

it leaves you in a very sad state of mind,

it leaves repenting every second,

you wish you had never loved,

never knew this deception,

this lie.....

p.s. today love leaves you ugly. we all know about the positives of being in love but there is another side of the coin too. love, no one is stopping you, infact when love strikes no one can stop you, not even yourself. but just be careful. take your decisions in a calm state of mind. keep a confidant. keep someone informed of your steps so that you can be rescued before things get out of hand. love is important and you cannot escape from its charm. but just remember, what's more important is you and your well - being. take care!

AAS - A Beginning

you must be thinking why this new name? (not that 'you' is quite a number who cares, but still). well, this is just to depict that i am getting back to some serious blogging/writing/expressing/sharing and nurturing my dreams. writing is therapeutic and it does wonders to oneself. a thousand things are going through my head right now but i am going to tackle one thing at a time. so now onwards, there will be regular posts, genuine thoughts and umpteen expressions.

not that i remember this one correctly, but just to sum up the entire hurricane inside my brain - "hum akele hi chale the jaanib-e-manzil magar, humsafar milte gaye aur kaarwaan banta gaya"

that's it for now. this should help me sleep :)